What Does a 'Post-Identification Support Session' Entail?
Voice recording of my blog:
I guess first and foremost I should check that this wording even makes sense to you?
That's sometimes the trouble with a 'neuro-affirmative' approach - we use language that's meant to be positive, affirming and inclusive, but in the process we might make someone feel excluded because we're using words that's outside of the norm.
In the neuro-affirmative field, we're taking a step away from using the word 'diagnosis'.
Diagnoses belong to the medical profession where the focus is on something being wrong, diseased, ill or defective with someone and autistic people are none of those things. And so, in the neuro-affirmative realm, words like identified, recognised, realised, discovered or similar are preferred. There are no right or wrong words and if you prefer saying diagnosed, that's ok too.
So, 'post-identification' refers to the period after you've had your autism confirmed or identified by a professional.
And 'support session' is probably pretty self-explanatory and so the more relevant thing here is - why? Why a 'post-identification support session'?
Soon after finding out I'm autistic I joined a group called SWAN (Scottish Women's Autism Network) - it was the most educational and healing thing I've done on my autism journey so far - and one of the most common topics when we met was: "I just got my autism diagnosis* - now what?"
They'd talk about feeling confused, being left with a ton of questions, having a minor or major identity or existential crisis and unsure what to do next or what support was available to them and they felt they had no where to go.
(* I might use the word 'diagnosis' in certain contexts like here when in 2018 this was the norm, so everyone I spoke to used the word diagnosis, and also when referring to those who've been assessed via the medical establishment, such as the NHS. Officially 'autism spectrum disorder' still belongs under the DSM (Diagnostic Manual of Mental Health Disorders) and the ICD (International Classification of Diseases)).
So, when The Adult Autism Practice (in Ireland) set up their private assessment practice, they included a one-hour, post-identification support session, in collaboration with Thriving Autistic, in their assessment package.
I've been part of the team offering these sessions since 2021 and have had the privilege of talking to hundreds of late-realised autistic adults.
In Session...
Ok, but what is it? What do you do in such a session?
Now, this is a surprisingly tricky question to answer. Because it varies based on which practitioner you choose and what your needs are. So, my answer will be based on what I offer and what majority of my previous clients have asked for.
If you've read my bio you know I have a background in psychology, in psychotherapy and coaching and these support sessions have also included a fair bit of mentoring and that's essentially what you get with me - a hodgepodge of skills and ideas.
I work in a neuro-affirmative, strength-based and compassion-focused way, applying psychoeducational means.
What that collection of fancy words are supposed to say is that you'll work with a practitioner who uses validating, positive and affirming language, as well as encouraging you to turn up in the session as you need - moving about, camera on/off, using the chat function, have your pets around, knit while we talk, hug your favourite fluffy toy or whatever you need to feel safe and comfortable during our time together.
You can read more about that way of working in my other blog post HERE.
Practically
Practically we meet for 60-minutes (and you're always free to book additional sessions) via Google Meets.
You'll book the session via my Calendly link and you'll automatically be sent a link as well as reminders.
If you're booking this as part of your assessment package with The Adult Autism Practice, the session has already been pre-paid.
However, if you're booking this session privately, I'll email you with the payment details.
You're free to email me information in advance or ask me to email you questions to consider before we met.
Many autistic people are quite good at preparing before engaging in a new task or meeting a new person and that's perfectly fine but I'm finding that more and more people are showing up unprepared for these chats and even though it tends to create some feelings of anxiety at the beginning, we always end up having a wonderful conversation, flowing from one topic to another seamlessly.
If you run out of things to say or feel awkward, don't worry - I won't leave you hanging. I'll jump in and help steer the conversation forward. This is meant to be an empowering and positive experience for you.
Themes...
These sessions are to address any confusion, lingering thoughts, questions or other reflections you have about being autistic and finding out later in life.
The people who book their sessions with me usually bring very similar themes.
Imposter Syndrome/Fraud
The most common theme and one over 95% of people I talk to mention is the feeling of having faked or tricked their way to being recognised as autistic.
"What if I've read so much about autism I was able to convince the clinical psychologist I'm autistic when really I'm not?"
"What if I've just fallen foul of over-identifying with something I read online?"
"I've been misdiagnosed before, how can I know that the professionals got it right this time?"
"I'm not struggling enough to deserve this label. What if I take attention away from someone who needs it more than me?"
There is a lot to explore around this topic and that's what the session is for (I'm also writing a book about the most common themes in these sessions which I hope to be able to share soon).
Masking/Unmasking
This theme also comes up in every single session I've had so far. And no wonder. It's a big concept within the autistic community and it's a complex web to untangle and understand.
That's exactly why you might want to book a post-identification support session or longer-term support to learn more, reflect on and become clearer on the concept of masking and unmasking.
Telling Others
This might also be referred to as 'disclosure' but I'm not a fan of this word as it sounds so heavy and draining. If you look it up in the directory it says 'open, exposed, pain, explicit' and that's exactly how telling others about our autism can feel, so though the word disclosure is totally valid, I find it makes this theme much heavier than it needs to be.
I have a - I think - clever 'recipe' for telling others that I'd love to share with you in a session (it'll also be in my upcoming book).
Accommodations
Working with me the focus might be less on what specifically you can ask for in terms of accommodation, for example at work. Booking a session with an Occupational Therapist who specialises within neuordivergence might be a better option if that's what you're needing right now. You can find one via the Thriving Autistic directory.
With me, the focus might more be on what 'accommodation' even means, what fears you might have about asking for accommodations and how to become more aware of your needs, such as exploring your sensory profile or emotional regulation and what autistic self-care looks like for you.
We might explore burnout cycles and how to break them or maybe go deeper and talk about the systemic/discriminatory issues that exist in our society and perhaps lingering feelings of helplessness or feeling powerless as part of that system.
And we might talk about self-advocacy, what that is and how you might best do that for yourself.
Dealing with Unexpected Emotions
What surprises a lot of people is when they've self-identified as autistic and feel ok or even great about that, but then once a professional has confirmed it, they can suddenly feel unsettled.
Perhaps unexpected grief hits - a sense of loss . What could have been different had I known sooner? What did I lose out on because I didn't know?
Or anger - why didn't my parents or teachers or previous therapists pick up on this earlier? Perhaps a sense of feeling let down.
Some feel like a 'bad autistic person' because they're questioning some of the ideas within the autistic community, like a desire to not unmask or not to tell others or secretly be thinking "I wish I wasn't autistic" - or even, "I wish I wasn't here" - which can cause guilt or shame. But know that you're not alone if you've had these thoughts. Far from it.
There isn't necessary a quick or easy fix to all of these things and one of the reasons people often refer to the post-realisation phase as a journey is because there's loads to process but these things can shift quite a bit by just being in a safe space where you feel acknowledged and accepted and where all your feelings are welcomed and allowed. Sharing your thoughts with someone who 'gets it' and who's gone through similar things can be a very powerful experience.
Often I'm the first autistic person a newly realised autist has spoken to and due to 'the double empathy problem' (research I'm slightly obsessed with), we can end up with an instant sensation of simply feeling understood.
Identity
I once had a client tell me that they'd spent years learning how to accept themselves and their many odd quirks and now where they knew they were autistic, they no longer felt unique but rather that everything that'd made them special was just commen autistic traits - which made them sad.
In the meantime, I was observing their unique sense of style and a background full of art and plants. Everything about the person I was looking at screamed UNIQUE but I also totally understood why they felt robbed by going from 'quirky' to 'common' (in Autismland).
Others realise they've been masking for so long that they don't know who they are underneath that mask which can also lead to a minor - or major - existential crisis.
What Does It Even Mean To Be Autistic?
(Empowering Neuroscience and Evolutionary Psychology)
When we start to tell other people we're autistic, quite often people ask: "What does it mean to be autistic? What makes a person autistic?" And though it's usually a well-meaning question and it's nice that people are showing an interest, it's also a bit of a (pardon my French) - headfuck!
Where to begin? Do I even know what it means for myself? How to explain it? How to summarise several months, if not years, of research?
I usually - when invited to - share empowering and positive ideas about autism based on neuroscience and evolutionary psychology as a starting point to why autism rather than the how of autism.
Unlearning and Language
Learning about autism is great! And it tends to teach us a whole new vocabulary. I bet you haven't used the word 'neurotypical' as many times in your whole life as you have the past few weeks or months, right? We learn about hyper-focus, alexithymia, interoception, monotropism, special interests, neurodivergence, being a 'slow processor', black/white thinking, rigidity, stimming, sensory overwhelm, emotional regulation, meltdowns, shutdowns, ableism and much more.
It's helpful to develop an understanding of ourselves and accompanying language but it's also helpful to start unlearning and critically examine terms about autism that are forced on us which may be hindering.
Internalised Ableism
One of the things that might happen is that we don't recognise the internalised ableism, or stigma, we sit with and we might even add to it with this new understanding of ourselves and via the common language around autism.
Part of the positive autistic identity piece is to look at how we talk about ourselves and what beliefs we hold about ourselves, based on our language use.
Energy Management FREEBI!
I've slowly been working on an emotional regulation tool which you can download from my resource page HERE.
It's a work-in-progress so don't judge too harshly yet, feel free to offer any insights it might give you or improvements and to share with whoever you like (but please remember to credit the creator).
What This Session Isn't For
This session can pretty much be whatever you need it to be but what this specific session isn't so much designed for or around is for addressing long-standing issues like trauma or how to help your autistic child (parenting advice or guidance).
And though I'm happy to answer personal questions about my journey and give you suggestions and resources and book recommendations, I cannot tell you how to 'fix' anything or how to manage your life.
If you're anything like me you might, after sharing a problem, think: "Just tell me what to do??" and to be honest, there'll be a part of me (the problem solving rescuer in my head) that'd love to jump in and give you all the answers to living a great life but there are three problems with that: 1) I haven't figured it all out yet so how can I tell you how to
2) I don't know what a great life or solution looks like for you, based on your values and beliefs and needs
3) we live in a world obsessed with telling us how to live our lives - perhaps it'd be nice with a space where someone listens to what you want for once? A space where you're the authority of your life, not me. A space where we take off the mask and wonder out loud who'd we'd like to be without it?
You can book your session HERE or by pressing the picture below.
P.s. As a dyslexic person I won't catch all my mistakes. Please read generously and if you spot any mistakes, I hope you'll smile with kindness because I'm allowing myself to unmask my dyslexia in your company.